Ze Older Stuff

Beg Letter from the RNC

My comments in blue. This letter is EXACTLY as it appears in printed form regarding punctuation, emphasis, etc. I actually got two letters from the RNC today and will be posting the other soon.

Letterhead: Republican National Committee, Ed Gillespie, RNC Chairman

Wednesday Morning

Dear Friend and Fellow American,

I must alert you to an important matter – At this very moment, a fierce battle is being waged for America’s heart and soul.

And – the decision you make in the next few moments could determine the outcome.

But let me explain:

Since taking office on January 20, 2001, President Bush has transformed our party, our country, and our world. For the worse…

He has passed two of the LARGEST TAX CUTS in history, igniting the fastest rate of ECONOMIC GROWTH since 1984 – and creation of new jobs is on the increase. Yeah, considering we were in the worst economic SLUMP in recent history, it wasn’t too hard…

And, on November 25, 2003, President Bush and our Republican Congress passed a historic Medicare prescription drug bill, which allows for the first modernization of this senior health care program in nearly 40 years. You mean a new, unfunded entitlement…

In addition, President Bush has signed into law the most important education reform in a generation, transformed the federal government to protect our homeland, AND led our Nation courageously in the War on Terrorism. NO MORE GOV SKOOLS!

But – despite these tremendous accomplishments – the fight for America’s future is far from over. No kidding. Time for a new Revolutionary War.

In fact, the real battle is just beginning… Yeah, we still have some rights left…

You see, the liberals are retrenching! And now, they’re hungrier than ever to undermine President Bush, and his agenda for a better, more prosperous America. Just consider this quote from a prominent liberal activist:

Now the President is out of control and threatens American democracy and the peace of the world…Bush must be beaten in 2004. Not only the nation, but the world, depends on it.Yeah, well, I’m a Libertarian and I happen to agree with them here.

That’s why I’m asking you to STAND UP for America’s future by becoming a Sustaining Member of the Republican National Committee (RNC) today. Your pledge of support, along with a membership contribution of $25, $35, $50, $100, or more, will help President Bush enact his agenda for a stronger, safer and better America.

Should be re-written to read: That’s why I’m asking you to STAND UP for America’s future by becoming a Sustaining Member of the Libertarian Party today. Your pledge of support, along with a membership contribution of $25, $35, $50, $100, or more, will help The People enact their agenda for a stronger, safer, freer, and better America.

As a Sustaining Member, you’ll be entitled to a number of benefits which I’ll describe for you in a moment.

But more important – you’ll feel a strong sense of personal pride knowing that you’re part of the team fighting for a better future for all Americans.

While President Bush has already passed two of the largest tax cuts in history…sparked the fastest pace of economic growth in nearly 20 years…passed a historic Medicare prescription drug bill…AND led our country courageously in the War on Terrorism… ALL BAD as they are DEFICITS…

…we must ALL continue to FIGHT for America’s future!

And – as a Sustaining Member of the RNC, you’ll be doing your part to help President Bush further his agenda to strengthen the Economy, secure our Homeland Since when is this a Fatherl…er…Homeland?, safeguard Social Security Our National Ponzi Scheme, and win the War on Terrorism that Bush invented.

We’ve done so much in the past year! To screw everything up…

I know you’re as proud about what we’ve accomplished as I am. Believe me, you’re much prouder than I am… But now is not the time to rest. It’s the time to build, and the decision you must make is simply this:

Will you stand up NOW and FIGHT for the future of America? Hell yeah!

I hope that your answer is YES – and that you’ll join the RNC as a Sustaining Member today. Wait..I thought we were fighting for a BETTER America? Why would I join you morons?

Your show of support, and generous membership donation of $25, $35, $50, $100 or more will be a strong statement of personal support, and a pledge of commitment to the future of our country. Yeah, well, if I had a JOB or any kind of reason to LIKE Bush and the rest of you neo-cons, I’d consider it. As it is, kiss off, we have a nation to bring liberty to…and it ain’t Iraq…

By standing up and joining the RNC today, you’ll be doing your part to fight for opportunity: Opportunity for yourself, and opportunity for every American. …to continue to get f…ked.

You see, President Bush has a bright, bold vision – one of unity, and common purpose which draws strength from the timeless American principles of empowerment, independence, individual liberty, and free enterprise. Since when did he change his mind and start pushing this great stuff? So far, he’s been all about screwing the economy, screwing our future generations, and buttf…king personal liberty…

He wants you to be able to chart your own course in life, empowered to take your own risks and succeed, rather than be caught in a web of government dependence. Yeah, well, remember the whole “actions and words” saying…you can do all of this right after you’ve ponied up your 50% of income to theIRS (not a typo).

He wants every child – regardless of the color of their skin, regardless of their house of worship, regardless of whether they live on a small farm or in a big city – to have the opportunity to succeed. That’s nice, too bad he’s spending their future on votes in the now…

But the LIBERALS don’t agree with President Bush. They want BIGGER GOVERNMENT, HIGHER TAXES, and LESS PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY! Which is funny, since that’s exactly what Bush has been giving them… You know, they’d like him more if he’d just start using the same words they do to describe what it is they want (and he’s doing)… “for the children” and “to help the (insert minority here)” and so forth. In fact, if Bush is looking for a highly-paid consultant to help him with this, please gimme a call.

And now, they’re more determined than ever to take TOTAL CONTROL of the federal government in 2004! Hmm…like Bush and the neo-cons have now? That’s a rough decision to make…who do I want messing up my life for me…

Make no mistake: The liberals will stop at nothing to undermine President Bush and his agenda for a better America. You mean a better Police State…

That is why I must have your support today!

Please take a moment right now…

The rest is more “begathon” stuff asking for cash. Luckily, they sent along a postage-paid envelope in which I could put a copy of this letter with my responses. Thoughtful bastards, considering how hard they’re working to screw us over.


Got comments? Email me, punk!