Ze Older Stuff

Letter to the IRS

Letter to the IRS, accompanying tax forms.

Internal Revenue Service

Fresno, CA 93888-0102

Dear IRS,

Enclosed you will find my form 1040, my Schedule C “Profit or Loss from Business,” and my Schedule SE “Self-Employment Tax.” As per your requirements, I have filled out these forms after having painstakingly checked my business books for errors and accounting totals.

Enclosed you will also find an invoice from my business for the time spent compiling all of this information for your benefit. As a self-employed contractor, I charge $45 an hour as stipulated on my website for all work not under prior contract agreement. As I have no agreement of contract with the IRS, I am billing at my hourly rate. A time sheet is below for your reference when reviewing the enclosed invoice, payable without penalty by April 15, 2004.

Accounting and bookwork to comply with IRS forms: 16.75 hours @ $45/hour: $753.75

Accounting/Tax Preparation software: $79.99 (not deducted from forms within)

Filling in of Tax Preparation Software forms: 7.25 hours @ $45/hour: $326.25

1/2 gallon of mid-priced Rum, Coca-Cola, ice, etc. to keep blood pressure down during vexing tax preparation process: $39.95

Visit to emergency room for possible heart attack symptoms: $873

Hotel room for wife who tired of listening to my lengthy screams of agony and various colorful phrases to describe tax code: $79.99

Money put into basket while attending church to atone for my sins (above): $50

Phone calls (long distance) to my Uncle Leonard, a CPA: $45.92

Lost contract with client who was unable to reach me due to my repeated use of the phone to call Uncle Leonard: $4,875 (estimated)

Visit to emergency room after finding out the above: $936

Total of above: $8,063.13.

Deducted from my debt to you of $3,027, I show a deficit of $5,036.13. This is redeemable by check, money order, or cash and is due on or before April 15, 2004. As per my attached invoice. Please be reminded that failure to pay by the date due will result in penalties and interest. Thank you.


Aaron Turpen

Holladay, Utah


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