Ze Older Stuff

Alan Keyes

I went to a pre-convention event for Parley Hellewell, who is hoping for the GOP nomination as a gubernatorial candidate in 2004. The GOP convention here in Utah is tomorrow.

This event featured Alan Keyes, who came to speak and endorse Parley for his run. It was held in Provo and was a small affair, with about 150 in attendance. Most of those there were delegates and supporters as the event was not heavily publicized. I was invited to go by a friend of mine.

So as the only shorts-wearing, long haired, anti-USA PATRIOT Act t-sirt wearing person in attendance, I felt a little out of place. Not that I cared. I lived in the valley of Mormania for a long time (“under the Zion curtain,” as it’s called) – all of this meaning Utah County or the Provo/Orem/American Fork corridor of Utah.

They had free food too. If they’d’ve had free t-shirts on top of that, I’d have been in heaven…er….sorry, this is Mormania…I mean the Celestial Kingdom.

So anyway, Mormon jokes aside, it was actually a great little event. The venue: the outdoor atrium/gardens of the Noni building in Provo near the mouth of the Provo Canyon; beautiful and very nicely set up. The speakers: Alan Keyes and Parley Hellewell. The food: grilled (literally) chicken, potato salad, greens, and lemon-tinted water; sweet and free!

Anwyay, Keyes is arguably one of the greatest speakers for the conservative (aka “Republican Right”) movement with a dramatic and very fiery way of spelling out his points. While I can’t agree with everything he says, I can agree with his basic premise: the morals and family values of our nation are failing and we are reaping the rewards of our own sins against the world.

I wholeheartedly agree. I probably disagree with him on how, exactly, we should return to those values; I wouldn’t label Keyes as a Jeffersonian. Regardless, people like Keyes are needed in today’s society to keep throwing our problems in the faces of those who would brush them aside for so-called bigger issues (like “the economy” and “terrorism” and so forth). People like Alan Keyes are an embarrassment to the “status quo”/statist Republican “conservatives” who generally get elected to office. They remind them of what Republicans really are and that bothers those who are Republicans In Name Only (RINOs).

Hellewell, though he doesn’t really have a chance in hell of getting the nomination of the GOP, is easily the only TRUE Republican running for that nomination. The rest are RINOs in different forms: pure Republicrats like Oleane, sell-out RINOs like Lampropolous or Stevens who will toss out the party platform and belief system as soon as one of them is elected, and ingrained-in-the-high-powers-that-be puppets like Hunstman – who is probably the “chosen one” who will win this time around.

Oh well. I shook Hellewell’s hand, thanked him for the event, told him that I’m one of those “evil Libertarians” and said I wanted to meet the only Republican running for the GOP’s nomination this year. It took a minute for that to sink in, but he got it and gave me a grin. He’s a nice guy with Utah farm-boy charm, so I don’t fault him. He’s running his campaign on principle and therefore will never get anywhere here: the powers that be don’t like principled people; they’re hard to control.


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