The Top 13 Signs Your Presidential Candidate Is a Deadhead

Posted: May 7th, 2004 by Militant Libertarian

13> Has already picked his live-in, Melody, as his “Secretary

of Dreams.”

12> Instead of old fashioned whistle-stop campaign, wants to

go “truckin’.”

11> “Building a Bong to the 21st… whatever.”

10> Typical debate rejoinder: “Whoa. You’re harshing my mellow.”

9> “Inhaled? Shit, I toked righteously!”

8> Claims that, 150 years before he invented the Internet,

he invented patchouli.

7> His explanation why he never registered for the draft:

“I spaced.”

6> Interrupts debate with charges that his opponent is

“bogarting the microphone”

5> Giggles uncontrollably when someone says “acid rain”.

4> Breaks into a 20-minute-long, incomprehensible ramble in

the middle of every speech.

3> Can’t spell “potato”; CAN spell “ganja.”

2> Freely admits inhaling. Adamantly denies bogarting.

and’s Number 1 Sign Your

Presidential Candidate Is a Deadhead…

1> He actually *likes* spending years traveling around the

country with the same act, distributing buttons,

t-shirts, and tapes.

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[ Copyright 1999, 2004 by Chris White ]

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