President Barack Obama went on national television to announce today that he has officially abolished the United States Government and is sending all Congressmen, bureaucrats, and even his own cabinet home. He personally distributed pink slips to hundreds of federal government workers this morning to commemorate the event.
Mass suicides were reported at Internal Revenue Service buildings across the nation as power-mad pencil pushers realized that they no longer had any power and would be at the mercy of the American People.
DEA and BATFE agents, fearing reprisals from the medical marijuana proponents and gun rights activists, were reported to have hijacked several (former) government vehicles to make a run for the Canadian border.
The military, unsure of what to do next, decided to integrate with their at-home National Guard units and hope that the States could find something for them to do to protect the nation from foreign invasion.
Meanwhile, a man in a ski mask wearing a shirt that says “Anti-Government Wacko” was seen standing on a smoking pile of debris that was once a federal bank building was heard screaming
APRIL FOOL! APRIL FOOL!
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