Partisan Morons

Posted: April 15th, 2009 by Militant Libertarian

Recently, I was followed on Twitter (so I returned the favor) by a woman who, it turns out, is an intern for a Demopublican somewhere. From her, I receive inundations of partisan attacks on various things several times a day.

I’m deliberately not telling you which political party she belongs to because that’s not really the point here. Whether she’s a Demopublican or a Republocrat makes no difference. Why?

Because only a total idiot can’t see that the two parties are the same damn thing!

Anyone who still thinks that Republicans are somehow markedly different than Democrats or that Democrats are somehow fundamentally opposed to Republicans doesn’t pay attention to anything but today’s up-to-the-minute propaganda while totally ignoring any kind of recent history.

Let me tell you the two fundamental differences between Democrats and Republicans:

1) One has a donkey as its symbol and the other has an elephant.
2) One will take your money and give it to government bureaucrats and the other will take your money and give it to large corporations.

So…tell me again how one is somehow totally different from the other (politically) again?

Exactly. They’re the same damn thing.

So I have a novel solution to fix partisan politics once and for all. This solution is so radical, so different from what’s normally proposed, and yet so simple and basic, that it’s sure to catch on. In fact, this idea is so fundamentally obvious that I’m amazed it hasn’t been thought of before.


Yep. Told you it was simple. Let’s just throw out all members of both political parties. Kick ’em all to the streets.

Sure, it will raise unemployment rates, but since these jackaphants don’t really have jobs anyway (they get paid by taking our money, after all), it’s not really an economic net loss.

“But,” you say, “who do we replace them with? I mean, we NEED someone to lead us!”

To which I say, “Nay nay, good soul. We can lead ourselves.”

Got comments? Email me, dammit!
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