Soon, All of Us Will Live in California

Posted: July 3rd, 2009 by Militant Libertarian

by Aaron Turpen

If you pay any attention at all to what’s going on in Washington, you’ve seen a few things happening for the past decade or so that aren’t pretty.

Even though Bill Clinton was a Democrat and he was a sheister extraordinaire, at least he seemed likable. That big, round face and sparkling eyes and light southern accent made him seem like a good guy, a sort of Regular Joe. At least a little. His wife, of course, had none of that, but the other ladies apparently noticed it too.

That’s another story.

Then came George W. Bush, Jr. the raging lunatic. The Decider, the Commander in Chief-ernator. Whatever he called himself, he at once appeared dumb as a post and then extremely intelligent, but in a Dr. Evil kind of way. At best, he was a neo-conservative puppet.

His sidekick was Dick Cheney. The balding, heart-attack prone, beady-eyed evil man from Texas who pretended to be from Wyoming. I don’t think there were many people who would have felt bad had Cheney’s heart done it’s final dance and popped and let us all off the hook. It was not to be, though.

During this time, the spending in Washington was out of control. Between Bush’s three wars (Afghanistan, Iraq, and Terror), money was being pumped out of the Fed faster than the accountants could ad zeroes to the end of the figure.

Congress, meanwhile, was at first lazy and go-alongish, then mean-spirited and spouted angry words over it. Then they got replaced by a bunch of peacenik Democrats who ended up not being so peacefully inclined as people had believed. So another election cycle was wasted and nothing got better.

Then came Obama. McCain wasn’t even a close second to him and had no chance whatsoever against the Obama Machine. With his huge smile, his minority appeal, his beefcake photo shoot, and his clean, eloquent speeches (provided there was a teleprompter), he was all that and more. He epitomized what The Man should be like if The Man wasn’t the evil-doing bad guy.

Turns out that while he seemed great, looked great, and talked great, inside he was still The Man. So nothing much has changed.

Except now the people running Washington appear to all be from California. If not physically, mentally and philosophically anyway. Despite the fact that Bush’s buddy the Governator hasn’t been able to keep his state’s congress from bankrupting California and despite the fact that nothing in the State of California is remotely sustainable, realistic, or even works well… Despite all of that, it’s the model that Washington appears to want to run the nation on.

We have Cap and Trade, Obamacare, (even more) uncontrolled spending, political pork fests (not the good, old Roman kind, the new, modern skim-money-off-the-top kind), and worse.

We’re watching California flushing down the toilet right now before our very eyes. Yet right behind it is the United States of America, doing its damndest to go down the drain with it.

The Republicans aren’t stopping it. They’re part of the problem. The Democrats are instigating it, so don’t look there for relief.

So what do we do? How do we stop this fast-paced spiral down the great bowl into oblivion? What do we do to jiggle the handle and make it stop?

Well, folks, one answer: jump ship.

We can’t stop the flow downward, but we can jump off the boat and swim for it. We can try to get out of the sucking current and get to solid ground. Or at least calmer waters.


Secession, friends. Simple, unadulterated, no more Union secession. The kind Abe Lincoln worked so hard to stop. It has to come.

We have to get off this boat before it sinks completely and we go down with it. The time is now, not later, and it has to happen if we’re to survive as even a shadow of what America once was.

Whole blocks of states, individual states, even counties need to think about just saying “To hell with this shit, I’m leaving.”

Several states have already made motions towards packing up their marbles and going home. Mostly the states who aren’t in the deep red and completely dependent on Washington for their lifeblood.

Others already have this general attitude regardless and don’t really need an official separation. States like Wyoming, where I live. We’ve already spent most of our life as a state looking at the others going “haha, you guys are hilarious.” We don’t need to pack up our marbles, we never got them out to play in the first place.

What about you? What if you live in the soon-to-be Kommunist Republik of Kalifornia? What do you do?

Get out, buddy. Run for it as fast as you can. Run for Nevada, Arizona, Montana, Idaho, Wyoming, Texas… Run anywhere but north because Oregon and Washington are probably going to end up like the KRK.

It’s time to call a spade a spade and realize that in California, everything is illegal and bankrupt. Soon, the rest of the D.C.-owned country will be the same. We’re royally and unequivocally f-ed as a nation.

Those of us who see this have already said “sucks to be them” and separated ourselves from them as much as we can. We’ve stepped away and are just watching them sink towards the big hole at the bottom of the commode.

Come join us. Get out while the gettin’s still good.

Got comments? Email me, dammit!
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