Queen Pelosi says automaker bailout protected industry

Posted: January 13th, 2010 by Militant Libertarian

"Alpha 1, this is Bravo 3: Prepare the shovels, she's on stage."After flying into Detroit on her private jet plane (paid for with taxpayer dollars and CO2) and flown by the Air Force, because even the Queen of the House needs to be treated like Presidential royalty, Pelosi laid down the biggest heap of manure in her recent career as a lying politician.*

She landed in Motor City, completely avoiding the Beirut-like waste zones that are most of Detroit now, and rolled into the North American International Auto Show (NAIAS) to make a big announcement.

Thanks to big government bailouts and throwing money down the automaking rat hole endeavors, the American auto industry has been saved!  All hail big government!  Down with the deniers in the power of the fedgov!

She said all of this, of course, while literally sharing the stage with the CEO of Ford Motors, which took exactly $0 and 0 cents in government bailouts and is the only one of the Big 3 that showed recovering profits and strong commitment to industrial change.   Sadly, the Ford man stood by and let her regurgitate her dung.

Then Pelosi and a couple of stooges (John Dingell and Fred Upton, just to show that this is “bipartisan”) wandered the show floor and made comments about gas taxes and carbon taxes, all of which will definitely not choke the car industry at all, of course.  They’ll help, that’s what they’ll do.

They, of course, spent a lot of time lingering at their lackey’s booths to see what Government Motors and Chrybankrupt were up to.  They are, after all, in charge of oversight for these new government-owned corporations.  Of course, the two independently-operated companies are private like the Post Office…

Apparently all of the ducks were in a row (meaning the envelopes quietly passed had the right number of bills in them), so Pelosi will be taking her vig…er… good reports back to Washington to tell her colleagues in the House of Repressiv-itives that the NAIAS shows that American auto makers are definitely down on all fours doing well thanks to government intervention, which came before it was too late.

After she left, Rodeo Clowns entertained the crowds while Secret Service crews quickly shoveled out the mess to be donated to Michelle O for her White House garden.  It’s rumored that she has already donated several tons of that Grade A manure to the homeless people who populate the park two blocks from her new residence in D.C., as her own home is already overflowing with the stuff.

Such kind and thoughtful rulers representatives we have.  Americans are truly blessed.

*In order for a politician to be called a “lying politican” without the term being redundant, they have to be entirely made of bullshit.  Literally, from big toenail to hair follicles on their heads, made of pure bull dukey.


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