During a rehearsal for one of his now-famous blackboard shots, Glenn Beck was confronted by officials and orderlies from the Florida State Hospital with a signed affidavit from a judge declaring Beck mentally incompetent. An adjoining letter from the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) also declared Beck mentally unfit to broadcast and ordered his immediate removal from the airwaves.
Beck, frothing at the mouth, ranted about his right to freedom of speech, his left toe, momentarily escaped from the orderlies and retrieved his “beloved Woobie” (a miniature microphone), and was eventually straight jacketed and carted off to an undisclosed institution.
Glenn Beck fans were startled to not see their hero on the air today, but instead saw his temporary replacement: a trick pony named Bubsy who can roll over, horsey-smile, grab his own tail and walk in circles, and whinney something that sounds like “Constitution.” Rumor says that ratings were higher than ever and Bubsy may have a permanent spot on Fox.
Beck’s agent held a press conference just before this publication and announced that Glenn will be writing a new book from his padded cell, with a working title of “All Locked Up and Nowhere to Go Bat**it.”
It will be published by April Fools productions.