In an effort to avoid prosecution, since he cannot prove his American birth, President Barack Obama decided to sneak out in the dead of night to avoid the authorities. Packing up his family, Barack hurried them out to a truck in which his extended family had packed all of their belongings in a rush.
The Secret Service was stymied when their armored car reportedly couldn’t keep up with the fast-paced moving truck through D.C.’s streets. Helicopters lost sight of the escaping Obamas somewhere on the Virginia border.
Reports later showed the truck running cross-country through barren farmland, apparently headed for the Canadian border. Sources tell this reporter that the cargo ship Rockefeller is waiting in an undisclosed French-Canadian port. There the Obamas hope to make international waters and eventually the safety of the homeland, Kenya.
Rothschild Enterprises, which owns the Rockefeller, declined to comment.
Reporting for Militant News, this is April Fools.