Laughter's Medicine

Strip Club Enthusiast Wants Fed to Print More Dollar Bills

from DotPenn

Ernie J. Jackson, Sr., of Altoona, is the city’s leading expert on U.S. monetary policy and a firm believer in the Federal Reserve Board’s recent effort to print more dollar bills.

As one of the city’s major supporters of exotic dancers and sometimes just plain weird dancers, Jackson said the cheap dollar policy of the Fed keeps more dollars in circulation, especially in garter belts and g-strings.

“I’m all for the Fed printing more dollar bills,” said Jackson, as he carefully creases a stack of dollar bills lying on the table in front of him. “It’s just sound economic policy in the strip joint.”

Jackson said he doubts that increasing the number of dollars will lead to higher prices and a stagnant economy. In fact, Jackson said the unique position of the dollar as the default currency in strip joints makes the cheap dollar even more attractive.

And, if there are two things that Jackson likes, it’s cheap and attractive.

“I still get the same amount of attention from these girls as I did in the past, with no sign of inflation,” said Jackson. “One dollar still gets a booty shake and a booby shake.”

Notorious LeBump, a local dancer, is skeptical of Jackson’s economic theory.

“I’m worried that the loose monetary policy will result in both an increase in inflationary pressures, as well as runaway government expansion, which will lead to a rapidly declining economic condition for private enterprise,” said LaBump. “It’s just not a sustainable model for a strong economic recovery.”

“Shake it baby!” Jackson retorts.


Militant Libertarian

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1 Comment

Wize Old Man

It’s the Two Dollar bill that’s needed. Many strip clubs have already gone to giving change in $2.00 bills. Some have even starting requiring tips on stage to be in that amount.

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