Laughter's Medicine

The Story of Jack Macek’s Hog

Pigs are smart animals, with good memories.

If you don’t care about alienating the cops, then call them pigs. And if you’re willing to back up your insults, be prepared for violence, because pigs are violent creatures… A friend of my family named Jack Macek was brutally attacked by a large boar on his farm. One of his dogs saved his life. The dog was always there, and it was always an outside dog, like the other several dogs he had.

But this one single dog attacked the boar and bit at its throat as it lunged forward after tearing a chunk out of Jack’s leg with its tusk.

Well, Jack never noticed this dog much before his big stinking pig turned on him. It was always there, and always yapping and begging like the other dogs.

In many ways, the free state project people are like Jack Macek’s dogs. But Jack’s pig hasn’t turned on him yet. So far as the sleepy, unphilosophical people of Keene know, their rogue pig is blissfully unaware of its impending addition to Jack’s Christmas platter.

…And thus, if the dog attacks the pig before it attacks Jack, then the dog is the one that gets shot!

Luckily, in real life, Jack hobbled up to his feet and made it over the pen enclosure, and that dog became Jack’s only “inside dog”. The other dogs that couldn’t see the danger had to weather the winter as “outside dogs”. The dog that bit at the rogue hog got to eat porkchops sitting next to Jack’s side by the table. That dog got 90% of the scraps, and sometimes, it even got a whole chunk of lean meat. That dog got to curl up on a nice warm pillow near Jack’s bed each night.

…Because Jack had finally learned what it was like to see an angry hog rushing towards him, as he fell over in the pig sty with a leg that was gushing blood. He finally had a chance to look into a hungry hog’s violent eyes.

The people of Keene still think their hogs are “serving them”. They haven’t seen the danger yet. Their schoolteachers never taught them that the nazis were “just normal folks” trying to “keep the order”. Their government schools never discussed the idea that juries were designed as a railing to pen in the hogs. They don’t know the first lick about the famine in the Ukraine, or Stalin’s purges. (Or they’re pretending they don’t, because they’re cowards.) …So they’ve turned their backs on the most dangerous animal on the farm…

So, if you call them “pigs” now, you might be right, …but you’re going to look like “mad dogs” to a lot of people.

Occasionally I don’t mind being seen as a mad dog — if the occasion really calls for it. But it’s best to be seen as a good dog, just trying to get by. To avoid negative attention, until you get a clear chance to prove your point. It’s best to be the one that wins over the farmer, raising question whether one really needs to be treated like a dog at all.

Hat Tip:



Dale Williams is a libertarian talk show host in Salt Lake City, Utah. He is known for his no-holds-barred radio presence and ability to go past the mainstream pundits and cut to the heart of the subject, whether he's talking to a local man on the street or international figures like Paul Craig Roberts or Gerald Celente. Dale is an expert in self-defense firearms, military hardware, and has a background in numismatics and as a body guard.