Posted: December 29th, 2010 by Militant Libertarian
The next time the CIA comes up with another Osama bin Laden videotape, you might want to compare their images of the alleged al-Qaeda leader to the photograph I’ve provided here. If he looks any healthier than that, then you’re probably looking at an imposter.
Yeah, Osama has definitely seen better days. But give the guy a break, huh? You wouldn’t look much better if you’d been dead for nine years.
Oh, by the way, in case you’ve just joined us? Osama bin Laden is dead.
He died in the Tora Bora Mountains of Afghanistan on December 13, 2001. He was buried in an unmarked grave within 24 hours of his death. Case closed.
But don’t just take my word for it. Top terror experts, intelligence analysts, academics, government officials, and even major political figures around the globe tend to agree that, “All the evidence suggests Elvis Presley is more alive today than Osama Bin Laden.”
I know this is old news to most of you, but I think it’s important to reiterate this fact. Why? Because Christmas season is upon us, and you know what that means: Terrorism!
That’s right! “Tis the season to be frightened,” and what 21stcentury Christmas would be complete without a holiday greeting from the man often credited with masterminding the attacks behind 9/11?
But wait—it’s already Christmas Eve (at least it was at the time of this writing)—and although our government has been hyping the threat al-Qaeda poses to the American people, one central figure has been conspicuously absent from their conspiracy theories.
Could it be that our government has finally given up on trying to convince the American people that Osama bin Laden is still alive and kicking? There sure is plenty to suggest that their efforts have thus far failed to inspire the kind of fear they need to justify these unpopular wars abroad, and the even more unpopular war on the civil liberties of American citizens here at home.
A CNN poll conducted in September of this year reveals that 67% of Americans believe it is unlikely the U.S. will ever capture or kill Osama bin Laden. That’s a dramatic increase since 2001, when only 20% believed that it would be unlikely that the government would catch him. One thing this poll does not address is why the American people believe it is unlikely that the U.S. will capture or kill Osama bin Laden. But you and I know the answer to that question, right? Right—because he’s dead!
By the time this poll was conducted, the American people had already grown tired of the ad nauseam attempts by our government to breathe life into this long dead villain. Each new audio and videotape pufporting to be that of Osama bin Laden failed to stand up to scrutiny. One of the more prominent critics of these tapes is former U.S. foreign intelligence officer Angelo M. Codevilla, who is now a professor of international relations at Boston University. In March of 2009, Codevilla wrote a damning critique of the countless recordings in an article for American Spectator Magazine.
According to Codevilla, Some videos show him [bin Laden]with a Semitic aquiline nose, while others show him with a shorter, broader one.
He also determined that none of the audio recordings match up either. Not only has voice recognition software found them to be not authentic, but even the secular language used by the “fake Osama” is inconsistent with the real bin Laden’s strict Islamic Wahhabism.
Codevilla also points out some of the finer discrepancies found in the videos. Like the fact that Bin Laden is left-handed, but uses his right hand to write with. He’s also seen wearing gold rings that are decidedly un-Wahabbi.
But these criticisms did not dissuade ‘the powers that be’ from releasing even more fake recordings. However, they were obviously persuaded to play it safe by exclusively sticking to an audio format.
They managed to keep him alive for a while longer, but then totally ‘jumped the shark,’ on January 29, 2010. That was the day that Osama bin Laden (the fake one, of course) scolded the U.S. for its failure to address climate change. It was a laugh riot, and quite possibly what drove that final nail into OBL’s coffin once and for all.
We didn’t hear much from Osama bin Laden after that. Then, less than a month after the CNN poll was conducted, three more audiotapes were released during the month of October. But these recordings generated about as much excitement as an Ashton Kutcher film.
So, do you think that our betters have finally decided to retire OBL’s jersey? That would seem to be the case.
Yesterday, in an op-ed piece for the Washington Times, former White House aide Robert Weiner and national security analyst James Lewis floated the idea that Osama bin Laden is most likely dead.
“Is bin Laden dead or alive? Nobody seems to know for sure, or, if anybody does, he isn’t saying. The White House’s Afghanistan-Pakistan review this month didn’t even mention him despite an ongoing, decade-long manhunt.”
But then they put a peculiar spin on their piece by suggesting that it is al-Qaeda that is trying to conceal bin Laden’s earthly departure.
“Al Qaeda wants America and the world to believe bin Laden is still alive. His image is a specter of the horrors of Sept. 11, helping build public support for everything from troop surges a globe away to warrantless wiretaps at home.
But the image of bin Laden is getting moldy, and there’s little reason for his ghost to scare anyone anymore. If al Qaeda wants America to believe bin Laden is alive, it should put up or shut up.”
This is not something you would expect to find in the Washington Times, which is a fanatical supporter of the‘war on terror’and a mouthpiece for whatever propaganda is coming out of the Pentagon. But there you have it.
We may very well find our government putting closure to this whole Osama bin Laden affair in the very near future. I expect them to come up with a body. Maybe they’ll dig him up out of the hills of Afghanistan, or claim that he was recently blown to bits following a bloody fire fight in Yemen. Whatever happens, you can sure that our government will declare, “Mission Accomplished”and finally have something to show for all those billions of dollars and hundreds of thousands of lives it cost to get him.
But don’t think that will put an exclamation point to this entire saga. No siree. They’re just getting started, and they have a whole new bin Laden waiting in the wings.
Up till now, bin Laden has been our government’s real life version of Emmanuel Goldstein. In case you don’t know who that is, I recommend you read George Orwell’s 1984.
In the novel, Goldstein was the Ministry of Truth’s poster child for terrorism. Like bin Laden, he was elusive and seemed to be everywhere. But the only place he actually showed up was on the nation’s telescreens. Each day, at 11:00am, images of Goldstein would be flashed before the eyes of Oceania’s citizenry, as part of a daily ritual known as “Two Minutes Hate.” It was a constant reminder to the people that the threat of terrorism was real and ever-present, and ensured that public support for the government’s ongoing wars was continuous.
With bin Laden gone, they’ll need a whole new Goldstein to take his place.
Anwar Al-awaki is that guy. He’s another CIA creation that is being bumped up from the minor leagues. Al-awaki has a very impressive resume who has been linked to the 9/11 plotters, the Ft. Hood shooter, and both the Christmas Day and Times Square bombers. He’s a big hit with the western intelligence crowd, and even dined with top-level Pentagon officials just months after 9/11.
And, just like bin Laden, he’ll be just like the American Express Card: He’s “everywhere you want to be!”
Remember when there was much chatter about a strike on Iran last summer? Osama bin Laden and his pet falcon just happened to be there, living it up in a guarded compound north of Tehran.
Or how about when the Pentagon was ‘testing the waters’ to expand the Afghan war into Pakistan last October? Well, bin Laden was there too, “living comfortably” in a cozy little hideaway somewhere north of the Kurrum Valley.
And let’s not forget how the U.S. has been salivating to break Yemen wide open. Well, wouldn’t you know it? Last month, Osama bin Laden was believed to be shopping for new digs—somwhere near Hadramout—so he could be close to the rest of his al-Queda buddies, and finally have a chance to settle down, and start a brand new family with his latest child bride.
Now that’s what I call one active senior citizen.
But I think you’ll agree that Osama bin Laden is nearing the end of his run. At some point in time, you’ve got to switch out actors to breathe new life into the franchise.
I liked Roger Moore as James Bond, but everyone agreed that this 57-year-old had to go after “From a View to a Kill.” You can only suspend so much disbelief when you see a guy— who can now get half price at Denny’s—knocking down multiple assailants and bedding women young enough to be his granddaughter.
Same thing with Osama. He’s too old and becoming increasingly irrelevant. It’s time our government introduces a new villain to the franchise before they lose their audience altogether.
So expect someone new to emerge from the smokey clouds of the next false flag. He’ll be young, tanned and ready to kick some infidel ass. He might even make a grand entrance like Pierce Brosnan did in the trailer to Golden Eye:
“My name is Al-awaki…Anwar Al awaki…Were you expecting someone else?”