Militant Rants

Ford Leaps Ahead Into.. the Bicycle Market?

by Aaron T, EVMeme

The world is not as it should be.  Things are upside down, backwards, and definitely off-kilter.  How do we know this?  Is it because the economy is as shaky as a 90-year old on a first date?  Or because our president seems to think that giving speeches is all that’s required to get people employment?  Perhaps it’s the weird climate change that isn’t anything like they wildly predicted it would be?

Or maybe it’s because Ford is in Frankfurt showing off.. a bicycle.

You read that right.  Not some great new concept in automotive or the latest in electric or alternative fuel mobility.  Nope.  A bicycle.  As in the kind those idiots who hog up the road for no reason and block traffic like they own the place (and pay no fuel tax to maintain those roads, the slouches) and insist on wearing helmets and seriously screwing over your commute.  Those things.

Ford’s big new concept for Europe’s biggest auto show at Frankfurt is a damned electric bicycle.  I kid you not.  Look:

Yep. Two wheels, pedals, handlebars.. no engine in sight.  None.  I’m sure the “I hate all things combustion” jerks at Yahoo! Green are loving this.  You know them; the people that, if they had their druthers, I’d be pedaling the 45 miles into town with a bike and trailer to get my monthly shopping done because they’d outlaw cars, assuming everyone lives in the city like they do.

But enough about urban-dwelling fake environmentalists.  I’m talking about two things that should never be put into the same sentence: Ford and bicycles.

I will give them props, though.  This e-bike is pretty cool looking.  It’s got some really awesome technology on it too; which, of course, means nobody could afford to buy one unless your name is Ken Lay (assuming he’s out of prison.. I don’t track these things).

So Ford is showing off this thing and using terms like “cross-gender design” and “magneoconstructive materials” and calling it, with some obvious innovative name-warping genius, The Ford E-Bike Concept.

Well, now that hell’s frozen over and pigs are flying, I’m going to go out and wait for the coming of [insert deity(ies) here] and the Rapture.  That’s gotta be happening as I type.  I’m probably missing it and consigning myself to eternity in hell just so I can post one more time to this blog and make you happy.

See what I’ll sacrifice for your entertainment?  My very soul is on the line just for you.  Don’t bother thanking me.  A check will suffice.