Wingnuts ‘Uniting Behind Santorum,’ Obviously

Posted: January 28th, 2012 by Militant Libertarian

by Wonkette, Jr

What are the Christian wingnut conservative Republicans doing about 2012 now? Uniting behind Santorum, of course! Because when you’re stuck with a slate of candidates including a liberal billionaire foreigner who loves the wrong Jesus and a repulsive kidney-shaped punching bag who is so venal and amoral he makes Bill Clinton look like a family man, what are you going to do, support the principled libertarian Texan family man with three decades of campaign success? No, of course not. You’re going to support the corrupt airhead dipshit who believes abortions are okay for his wife but a FELONY for everyone else in America. Rick Santorum, truly the conservative wingnut base is uniting behind you!

How much do GOP primary voters hate themselves, these days? A lot, we bet! Now that their front-runner can’t even claim an Iowa victory and the “oh I guess we’ll support him” sleazeball Newt has again exploded in a frothy ejaculate of Tiffany whore diamonds and bile, full-time loser Rick Santorum is getting another round of desperate attention.

We just want to remind everyone, again, that beyond all the Santorum fecal spooge jokes and his creepy/convenient abortion policies and his stupid sweater vest and his insane obsession with gay men having gay sex, Rick Santorum was a two-term senator who got his frothy ass handed to him in 2006 and hasn’t won anything but scorn since that day — he can’t even claim a real Iowa victory, because who knows where the votes from those eight missing precincts went, maybe Romney’s god is God after all, right? Maybe Ron Paul won, in space. Maybe, in this idiotic alternate universe, Rick Perry’s endorsement of Gingrich means something.

HAHAHA, and in the time it took to prepare this frothy little post, the ConservativeHQ.com website realized they handed us a very easy joke, and have now corrected the headline to something less obviously homosexual.
Santorum is never going to be president of anything, except the gay sex resort he operates 24/7 in his fevered, shrunken brain.

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