Posted: October 4th, 2012 by Militant Libertarian
There are a lot of things about games that we wish we had in real life. Maybe it’s that awesome Vorpal Sword* or that killer Conan body builder look or that sweet chainmail bikini. Whatever it is, we wish we had it. It’s why we play games. They’re a fantasy, a release, a way to live out what we dream, but on-screen and without losing anything important like, you know, a left arm. *Cheesy D&D reference
But games have cliche’s and these create memes that we all can read/see/joke about and enjoy. Here is some stuff from games that we wish we had in real life.
Usually exclusive to first person shooters (FPS) and role playing games (RPG), these are the spots you can “pass” in a game that save it for you. “Just let me play to the next checkpoint, mom!” was the battle cry of many a pimple-faced teenager back in the Nintendo/PlayStation days. So what if we could do these for real?
Big life decisions wouldn’t seem so complicated anymore. Right? Think about it. Getting married? Go through a checkpoint before the big day and, if it suddenly doesn’t seem worth it.. load your saved game and cancel it. Actually, we already have this. But you have to travel to Vegas.
Tired of your job and want to quit and try something else? Instead of sweating over it, trying to save a bunch of money you don’t have or working after hours to build a business, you could just save the spot, tell your boss to shove it, then try it on your own. Bankruptcy? No problem, just go back to your save point.
The possibilities here are endless. Suddenly, bad decisions at parties, questionable food, doing stupid things in your car.. not so bad anymore. Just save your spot and try it anyway. Why not?
You know how in a lot of games you have basically endless storage to shove things in? In those games, you tend to collect everything you walk past, no matter what it is. Face it, most gamers are hoarders by nature. We have bags, bank slots, house chests and more all stuffed to the gills with useless crap we “might” need some day or that might “stack up for auction.”
Imagine if we could do that in real life. Just have random treasure chest boxes or banks we can go to and dump our stuff off. Fish never goes bad (every MMO has fishing now), armor and weapons never rust, and no matter which bank you visit, all the stuff you’ve ever put in every bank in the world is there for you.
Seriously, this would rock. Think of all the stuff you’ve thrown out, had thrown out for you, or didn’t pick up off the street because you weren’t sure where you’d put it or “needed the space.” Think of all the stuff you could hide form your spouse too – no more complaints about your “crap” cluttering the house.
Again, something straight out of many RPG and FPS games, this feature would make the NBA obsolete. Or at least make Teen Wolf and Space Jam into boring movies that have little purpose.. err.. OK, my illustrations suck. You get the point.
Think about this: you can jump a little, then jump again in the middle of that jump (off of nothing but air) and get twice the height. How awesome would that be? Would you even bother driving to work anymore? Just double-jump a few times and BAM!, you land at your desk. Pure awesomeness.
Think of how our lives would change. Upper-shelf storage would now be useful. Libraries could be taller instead of longer. Crosswalks would no longer need signals for pedestrians. Ladders would be obsolete.
Short people would still have no body, though. Ya, I’m hilarious.
Health / Status Bars
How useful are these things? For many gamers, our lives revolve around them when we’re playing. Literally. Getting pounded by that dragon, but know he’s just a few HP away from death, but so are you? Stick it out, you just need to land one more hit..
In real life, these could tell us our overall health. Got a cold? A little sneezing icon appears below and your health bar drops a little until it’s over. Eat some really bad Thai and follow it with tequila because someone double-dog dared you? A little stomach ache icon and a loss in health for a while.
Think of the implications. Doctors could just look at your health bar and say “Wow.. here, drink this.” The magic red potion (they’re always red, notice that?) would suddenly bring you to full. Maybe a couple of chants and some dramatic hand waving to remove the little icon that’s pestering your HP bar would also be in order. Definitely have to have white light coming from their hands too. Otherwise, your doc’s a quack.
Experience Points and Levels
All of our skills could be quantified by XP. That would rule. Unless you’re running for office or something, but I’m sure someone would figure out how to hack the system and game it so you’d look better than you are.
Anyway, think about the coolness that XP would have. “Ya, my chart says I am a level 55 sex machine. I can’t hook up with you, though. You’re bar’s gray, so I’d get no XP out of it. Sorry.”
“Sorry, ma’am, but we only hire level 70 and above accountants. Can I suggest you go do some 1040?s and gain a few more XP?”
On the other hand, reality might set in. I mean, most guys believe themselves to be, like, Level 900 Barbarians when in real life, most of us are, like, level 5 at best. Nearly everyone thinks they’re a level 80 driver, but the reality is, most of us are maybe a level 10 tops. It might kill some egos if the truth were so easily ascertained. Maybe having XP for our skills wouldn’t be so great.
Then again, it would only suck for people with no skills. I got mad skills, so I’d be cool.
Automatic Skill Gaining
This would be almost as cool as being able to plug in and learn Kung Fu and stuff like in the Matrix. Think about it. You’ve been plugging away, getting pretty good at cooking when suddenly, you hit level 30 as a cook and BAM! You can automatically make quiche, roast duck, and perfect cheesecake. Head to the bank and grab all those mats you’ve been stashing for this day!
This would be awesome, actually. Think of all the cool stuff you could just automatically know because you sat around repeating the same task for an hour.
Random Money for Nothing
In MMOs, RPGs and other games with an economy, you get paid for doing all kinds of stupid things. Like the guy on one side of town who wants you to take a message 20 steps to the lady on the other side of town and will pay you fifty silver pieces to do it. Or the random monsters and beings that just drop cash because you beat them up.
Everything in those games has a price tag. If you don’t get paid cash, you get reputation or experience at least. In the real world, you could even gain XP and get paid to play games… Plus you’d automatically learn new stuff while you’re doing it.